Mark You This

I am considering registering my stomach as a trademark. Why not? Damon Hill has registered his eyes as a trademark on the grounds that they immediately identify him. Hill’s eyes, my manly corporation, what’s the difference?

Today’s F1 drivers are registering anything they can get away with. A friend of mine, an artist, produced a series of T-shirts each with a portrait of a driver. It was soon made clear that he had better not feature Harry Hotshoe unless he arranged a contract with Hotshoe’s agent so that multi-millionaire Hotshoe could wring a few pennies from an artist struggling to make a living.